Contradictio in Terminis

I just needed to put this somewhere other than my head for a while. There will be posts not dedicated to wangst! Just... not quite yet.

( I'm getting a headstart on the mental health/body image issues this year... #overachiever :-/ )

(and two weeks, two weeks until I go back to Kingston for Don Training and then it will be September and I will be insured and I will finally be able to talk about this to someone who at least gets paid to put up with my shit)

I still can't believe this place. I still don't understand how this - any of this - is real. I'm still grappling with the fact that with one plane trip - literally, from August 28th to August 29th - life can change so drastically. Groningen is amazing. The people I live with are amazing. Everything is amazing and I am constantly in awe (and I know, I know, give it a few weeks and see what I'm saying then, but right now I'm living in this crazy happy bubble and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.)

In the two weeks since I've been in Groningen, I've met people from all over the world. I'm making plans to visit places I've only ever known as names on a map - if that. One of my friends, Hanna, is from Finland, and has graciously mentioned invites to her home near Christmas time. Apparently they can hunt moose there by the light of the Northern lights! There are jokes going around about Oktoberfest in Munich, which I am so, so down for. It's crazy.

And that's probably the most extravagant experience for me: I am surrounded by people - and it's awesome. Over the last two weeks, I've been talking to people, connecting with them, initiating and carrying on conversations - and it's been fun! I never knew just being with people could be this enjoyable; is this what normal people feel like all the time? Even though school is already in full swing (I read three chapters of my Industrial-Organizational Psychology textbook this weekend and I have an oral presentation due on Thursday), I'm able to sit with people and just chill, relax, without stressing about projects or deadlines. I'm actively seeking social contact, which is so novel for me that I'm having a hard time believing it myself. This is so different from anything I'm used to; I smile at people in the mornings, say hi to them, even just sit quietly as they talk around me, all of us just doing our own thing - it feels like acceptance, community, and it's such a completely addictive feeling. How have I never experienced this before? It's so liberating, and I never imagined it could be like this.

P.S.: DUTCH MY LIFE

HAHA!



MOI, J'AI FINI MES EXAMENS!

(I am not thinking about how I did, nor everything I ate today, nor all the exchange stuff on my to-do list. I AM ~HEPPI.)

Also: a) PChan: see above, b) Habs, sob, c) THE ROYAL WEDDING IS TOMORROW, WHICH SEAT HAT WILL I TAKE WEAR?

TORONTOOOOOOO, HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 24 hours!

This post probably involves some tmi.

Days left in Kingston: 7
Number of exams left: 4

I have chilled with Kim and Frank, I have gotten out of the house for a bit, and I am in the middle of studying German. The wether is lovely out, I got some free coffee from Starbucks, and yet I can't help feeling intensely depressed right now (and nauseous; obviously Starbucks scones and I were never meant to be). I have no idea why I'm feeling like this, and I wish I could just make my brain STFU already because arrrgh, you know? And although I would happily give at least a lung and a kidney to be home right now, I can't help but stress over that too. I'm scared of gaining weight over the summer, which, WTF that would probably be a good thing. I can see my ribs in the mirror, and I haven't had my period in three months. But my parents ccomplemented me last time i saw them, so i dont know what to thnk. And of course today being good Friday, the health clinic is closed, so I can't book an appointment with anyone to tell me I'm overreacting. Real life: I fail really hard at it. :/

Tl;dr: hormones suck, exams suck, I cannot wait for next Friday.

DONE MY ESSAY.*

DONE MY ESSAY.

DONE MY ESSAY!!!


FUCK YEAH! RESEARCH METHODS, COME AT ME, BRO!

*I probably failed. It probably sucks. My prof probably hates me. Number of fucks being given right now? NONE.

University is eight hours in the library with three sentences to show for it.

;alskdfj;ewrnt;SSHHG;HLKAHSGEAKHGANQ;EKHA;HA;KLDN

QDC JUST DANCE 2011 = MY LIFE ♥

I can't believe dance is over! There is a gigantic gaping void in my life now, where dance class used to be, and I can't believe that it's all gone by so fast.

Recital was a huge success! :D I haven't gotten much audience feedback (parents don't count; I think they were more preoccupied with my haircut), but on Saturday, the crowds were amazing, and being on stage felt amazing, and the other dancers were amazing, and it was all ~so beautiful~ ;asldkfjals;d I AM WHELMED BY THE AWESOME!

( alors on danse~ )
I wish we could all just dance forever. ♥________♥

*I keep wanting to make self-deprecating jokes about people seeing me in my underwear, and then I remember that for Videodance, my costume was underwear, so it's a bit late to be worrying about modesty, I guess.

This is a post all about eighteenth century French literature! Because reading Diderot is just... LOLWUT. But it is not a srs!bznz post because a) LOL THE BOOK IS WRITTEN IN FRENCH, WHAT IS THIS READING COMPREHENSION YOU SPEAK OF? and (consequently), b) my summary of the book is basically as follows: two guys ride around and talk about their sexcapades.

I REALLY ENJOYED THIS BOOK. :DDDDDD

Let the record show that: 1) If I am looking up fanfiction for Jacques le fataliste, it is only because DIDEROT TOLD ME TO. Or, rather, he was all "I DARE YOU TO DO BETTER Si vous n'êtes pas satisfait de ce que je vous révèle des amours de Jacques, lecteur, faites mieux, j'y consens." WHICH IS BASICALLY THE SAME THING.

2) "Tu es mon serviteur, quand je suis malade ou bien portant, et je suis le tien quand tu te portes mal." (p.118) ;LASKDJF;LASKDJFAS YOU GUYS WHY IS IT SO ~BROMANTIC ;ASLDKJFA;LSDF (There are other examples, but I am too lazy to type up a whole paragraph of French js.)

3)... THAT IS SOME NICE BROMANCE YOU'VE GOT GOIN' ON THERE, DIDEROT.

Jacques: Bonjour, ladies.
Look at your Maître. Now back to me. Now back à votre Maître. Et encore à moi. Malheureusement, il n'est pas moi. Mais s'il ne prendrait pas une prise de tabac en regardant l'heure qu'il est, he could act like he's me. Look down, back up. Where are you? You're camping in the French countryside with your Maître. What's on your mind? I have it! It's a history of the time I learned sex didn't have to be in the missionary position. Look again. The woman is now on top! Anything is possible si c'est écrit là-haut.
Son Maître: I'm on a horse.

SOMEDAY, I WILL ACCEPT THAT NO ONE APPRECIATES BUTCHERED FRANGLAIS OLD SPICE MEMES*. UNTIL THEN, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ME.

*Also, why have I not been able to find one for The Eagle? STEP IT UP, FANDOM. :D

*picks self up off the floor*

*tentatively tries to reattach all the broken bits*

*fails*

...

...

...

Did that just happen? Oyyy, and here I was thinking that abnormal psyc got better in the second semester. WHOOPS, GUESS NOT. :/ IDK if I am just being the "wronged woman" here, but was there a single question on there that actually pertained to, oh, I dunno, anything in the lectures?!

*while studying*
Sarah: "I totally got this!"

*reading first question*
Sarah: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU brb getting steamrolled by a multiple choice exam, oh fail"

Hurg.

Anyway, the notes must go on; LJ-therapy break over, time to tackle... BIOPSYCH! Noooooooooooooooooo