Contradictio in Terminis

What's that, you say? The first weekend back on campus, you say? Too many self-destructive feelings right now, you say?

I have razorblades in my room? Okay.

...

I definitely did not mean to do that. OOPS.
(But after all this, what's one more scar?)

I still can't believe this place. I still don't understand how this - any of this - is real. I'm still grappling with the fact that with one plane trip - literally, from August 28th to August 29th - life can change so drastically. Groningen is amazing. The people I live with are amazing. Everything is amazing and I am constantly in awe (and I know, I know, give it a few weeks and see what I'm saying then, but right now I'm living in this crazy happy bubble and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.)

In the two weeks since I've been in Groningen, I've met people from all over the world. I'm making plans to visit places I've only ever known as names on a map - if that. One of my friends, Hanna, is from Finland, and has graciously mentioned invites to her home near Christmas time. Apparently they can hunt moose there by the light of the Northern lights! There are jokes going around about Oktoberfest in Munich, which I am so, so down for. It's crazy.

And that's probably the most extravagant experience for me: I am surrounded by people - and it's awesome. Over the last two weeks, I've been talking to people, connecting with them, initiating and carrying on conversations - and it's been fun! I never knew just being with people could be this enjoyable; is this what normal people feel like all the time? Even though school is already in full swing (I read three chapters of my Industrial-Organizational Psychology textbook this weekend and I have an oral presentation due on Thursday), I'm able to sit with people and just chill, relax, without stressing about projects or deadlines. I'm actively seeking social contact, which is so novel for me that I'm having a hard time believing it myself. This is so different from anything I'm used to; I smile at people in the mornings, say hi to them, even just sit quietly as they talk around me, all of us just doing our own thing - it feels like acceptance, community, and it's such a completely addictive feeling. How have I never experienced this before? It's so liberating, and I never imagined it could be like this.

P.S.: DUTCH MY LIFE

I keep meaning to post about specific topics or what I've been doing these last few days, but I'm always side-tracked either by HP fic (I'm on a serious binge right now, you guys. Unfortunately, most of what I mem'd in grade 7 is either deleted or crap) or by exchange obligations. (Also, I clearly haven't been on in a while, because I spent a couple minutes chuckling to myself at my icon. *facedesk*)
( photos under cut )

That's pretty much it for now; parents are away next week, so I'm planning to slog through the 50+ tabs of X-Men fic I have open and actually, you know, catch up with the important things in my life, aka fandom.

*To my surprise, truing is a word.

HAHA!



MOI, J'AI FINI MES EXAMENS!

(I am not thinking about how I did, nor everything I ate today, nor all the exchange stuff on my to-do list. I AM ~HEPPI.)

Also: a) PChan: see above, b) Habs, sob, c) THE ROYAL WEDDING IS TOMORROW, WHICH SEAT HAT WILL I TAKE WEAR?

TORONTOOOOOOO, HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 24 hours!

Guten Morgen!

I think I got eight hours of sleep last night, and it was brilliant! I also had dreams! Let me tell you about them.

So, first there was the one in which I was part of an elite spy/ninja team based on earth, and Cillian Murphy was an evil alien who lived on a distant planet and was trying to annihilate the world. I got sent up to his planet for a recon mission (he lived in a hotel, wtf), but somehow managed to get caught. (I don't think I minded too much. It was Cillian Murphy.) Then everything became all ~film noir-like, with the black and white tones, and the pinstriped, tailored, old Chicago gangster clothing. I think Cillian had a fedora. And tentacles. Anyway, after he caught he sneaking around his hotel, he asked me why I was there, and I told him I was trying to save Earth from his death ray (unfortunately, not a metaphor for his penis...). He took me to his telescope and showed me the Earth, and it was very small and very pale, but I was a bit too distracted by his gorgeousness to really comment much. Then, we did the tango, in order to distract him from blowing up my planet. It was very sultry and romantic, and I tried to seduce him at one point. I must have succeeded, at least in part, because we got to third base*. Things were getting interesting... And then I woke up and jizzed in my pants.

I fell back asleep soon after, and found myself in Toronto. I was doing my own thing, chilling somewhere, and then my parents called being like "Do you know where your brother is?". Naturally, I didn't, cause I don't stalk the kid, and I said so. Then my mom said "I'm coming to pick you up", and did so. She took me to my grandparents' house, where my brother was being arrested on drug charges WTF. My family was a mess, and my grandparents and Oma were freaking out, obviously, and David was on the fucking garage roof or some shit, and the police were trying to get him down - unsuccessfully - and in the middle of all that chaos, I woke up. Then I was all FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU subconscious, David would totes never do drugs, I would smack some sense into that boy myself.

Now I'm off to write a German exam in T-1.5 hours. BRB, studying/imbibing coffee FOREVER.

*WHICH I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS

BEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE.

Mey Two Favourites:

- Adam. Adam, Adam, Adam, Y SO GORGEOUS BB? OMG, I was enamored with his SP from the get-go (mostly because I am a dancewhore and his choreo was beautiful), and just IAS;DIFLASDTN; IDEK EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS JUST PERFECT, OK? HE WAS SO SWEET WHEN WE WENT TO CREEP/AMBUSH HIM, AND ;ASDKLFA;SDJKT ♥ ♥ ♥ (No, seriously, he is so graceful and stunning and fierce and flawless, etc. I just. His exhibition skate was one of the most moving things I've ever seen.)

- I can't really believe I'm saying this, but PATRICK CHAN GET IN ME NOW. I didn't stan him overly much before, but then he was so sweet when we talked to him (even though he'd just messed up his short program) and he smiled so much, and ;alsdkjfa;sd;A;SLDKFJAWNPTN BE STILL MY HEART. He was ridiculously over-scored in the SP, but I am so glad he won TBH. Totes mey favourite.

SO YES, THIS WEEKEND WAS BASICALLY MADE OF EVERYTHING AWESOME, EVER. WE MET SO MANY AMAZING PEOPLE AND IT WAS ALL JUST SO AWESOME. I'M SO GLAD IT HAPPENED.

I AM SO HEPPI O I AM SO HEPPI~

HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS, YOU GUYS, I AM SO, SO WHELMED ATM. LIKE. I WANT TO DO A VOICE POST - BECAUSE WHAT'S THAT, I CAN?!?!?!? - EXCEPT MY BROTHER'S IN THE ROOM SO I WON'T BUT I COULD IF I WANTED TO, BECAUSE cherishedsaulie  JUST GAVE ME TWO MONTHS OF PAID ACCOUNT TIME.

SON, I AM EXCITE! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

THANK YOU cherishedsaulie !!! ♥ ♥ ♥ YOU JUST KIND OF MADE MY LIFE.

Off to go scrounge up MOAR ICONS! :D



So, um, yeah. Expect a voice post sometime, I guess (AUDIBLE CAPSLOCK Y/Y/MFY?).