let's get screwed, blued and tattooed! (the NICE THONG, JOHNNY remix)

[bitchy_merlin]

EVENTFUL WEEKEND IS EVENTFUL.

Holy crap.

So,music_est_vita  was up this weekend from Toronto, Hallowed Place of the Working/Existent Transit System, and it was a fucking blast. The original plan was to do aimless things, such as hole up in my room and ogle Johnny Weir and Stephane Lambiel ("NICE THONG, JOHNNY!") while making fun of everyone's favourite heterosexual orange mongoose bro, Evan Lysacek. Needless to say, we deviated from this plan by... rather a lot.

On Friday night, we went to see Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland with thatdayismine  and Anne. Which, you know. A++! (Except for Johnny Depp's semi-quasi-Scottish accent, but his makeup was fabulous so I forgive him.) I enjoyed the movie rather more than I thought I would, especially the Cheshire Cat, for some reason. After that, we did actually hole up in my room and read figure skater RPF and Alice/Hatter fic (most of which I am reading now, thank you music_est_vita ).

It was going to be an early night, but then we somehow got on to the topic of "what if Evan Lysacek and JWeir had kids?", which spawned over 1.5 hours' worth of flushing out ideas for said fic. (They would have 2 kids; a boy who would be basically a miniature Johnny (we called him Billy, after Billy Elliot) and a girl, Ashley. Billy would prance around, always stealing his sister's eyeliner and Johnny's purses and Johnny and Evan would have simultaneous heart attacks when Evan comes home early one afternoon to discover Billy necking on the couch with... a girl!)

The next morning we were woken up at an ungodly hour by my amazing canmate who had the brilliant idea to use her fucking hair dryer at 7:30 am. On a Saturday! WTF. But then we had to book it off to West Campus so that music_est_vita  could be bored out of her skull (TY FOR COMING BB) while I participated in a dance rehearsal. And, boy, did we need it. Inter Lyrical was a fucking shitshow. The first time we ran through it, I bumped into at least four people on stage, forgot half the choreography, and messed up the little I actually remembered. Not cool. BUT THEN HIP HOP OMFG. It is going to be fantastic. I am so incredibly, indescribably excited for this thing, I don't actually have words; just a lot of flailing and strange noises. It is going to be so good. a;sldfjals;dfkjas;dkf ♥

After rehearsal, we took a bus downtown (or, rather, "downtown") to get lunch and shop for accessories for the evening (what with it being "St. Patrick's weekend-thing" and all). Lunch was Subway, Dollarama is my biffle, and Second Cup lattes are ehhhh. Then we went back to res and had GIRL TALK TIEMZ, LIKE, OHMYGOD(tm). We went to dinner with thatdayismine , which was awesome and entertaining, as she is, always. We stole stuff. I now have a large plate and eleven butter tarts (well, nine now, since we each had one this morning) in my fridge.

....one of which i am eating right now. om nom nom.

AND THEN IT WAS SATURDAY NIGHT. So, music_est_vita and I dolled up (err, insomuch as we, you know, do... the boots were killer) and tripped down to the LCBO because A Certain Someone is legal and I now have a 40 of Strawberry-Chocolate-something-with-lots-of-alcohol in my fridge (Easter weekend, here I come). From there, we met up with Kim, Frank the Goat, and Aaron at (oh dear) The Sleepless Goat and ventured to the Tir Nan Og Irish Pub for the birthday of someone named Curtis, whom I'd never heard of before and still haven't met. Oh well.  IT WAS STILL RIDICU-AWESOME. (Dearmusic_est_vita : WE ARE AWESOME *FISTBUMP*). I was kind of nervous going in, being all "they're totally going to card me and it's going to suck damn damn damn", but no one got carded - I was actually really surprised. (And, uh. I'm not complaining ;p)

There were drinks! And random people! And not-so-random people! And Aaron's S&M stripper hat, which he totally lost to Steph, the massage-therapist-cum-stripper. And then there were more drinks, for music_est_vita  and I, but none of which we paid for. (And that was the first shiny point of the night: guys bought me drinks!) Irish Car Bombs are so not my thing (Tiramisu Espresso Martinis, however...). I will stick to the fruity/sugary drinks that come in pretty colours, thanks. Anyway. There was drinking. And then we were drunk. And then we were laughing. And then Aaron and I were colliding.

AND THEN THERE WAS HIS TONGUE IN MY MOUTH WTF.

That is technically a lie. I saw the kiss coming (I think everyone and their grandma did, from about a mile away), but like. It tasted like mouth. His tongue was there. And then I had no idea what to do, so I put my tongue in there as well. I DON'T GET KISSING. HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT? (I don't care that I sound like I'm 14; this is bugging me.) His tongue was kind of... poking? licking? idk... inside my mouth so I was like ok, maybe this is how people kiss... so I mimicked his actions and it was like "Follow the Leader" except IN MY MOUTH.

And then there was applause. Seriously.

Following the applause, there were a few more drinks, and a random lecherous guy from Japan, and more follow the tongue making out. And lots of bathroom hiding, wherein music_est_vita  and I had people convinced that we were in a "hot lesbian relationship" to the point where Frank got a really weird look on his face when lovebanshee  followed us. Don't worry, Frank. Your GF is safe. *wink*

[There are other parts of the story here (including but not limited to: vomiting, being sketchy, angry waitresses and random ejaculations of  NICE THONG, JOHNNY), but they are not mine to tell, or else I couldn't do them justice. Although, the guy whose birthday it was, Curtis, he proposed to his girlfriend and it was gorgeous. ♥ ]

Finally, we (lovebanshee , music_est_vita , Frank, Aaron and I) piled into a taxi and returned to our respective places of residence. music_est_vita and I crashed, sleeping the sleep of the definitely inebriated (but I remember everything this time, making this the most agreeable drunken experience I have had to date. But I don't think I could do this more than once a month because a) my wallet couldn't take it and b) it is definitely not healthy. So glad I had dance today.) Then we woke up today, did some shit; I went to dance (hip hoppppp=MY LIFE), we stole more food from the caf, and then whisked off to the bus terminal so music_est_vita  could head back to TO.

And now I am here and posting this, while nomming on stolen butter tarts and surveying the damage facebook. I don't know how I feel about this. On the one hand... I don't even know. On the other... no, seriously, I have no idea. MICHELLE, HELP.

TL;DR: I FEEL LIKE SUCH A TEENAGER. Is this how normal people feel all the time?!