What's that, you say? The first weekend back on campus, you say? Too many self-destructive feelings right now, you say?

I have razorblades in my room? Okay.

...

I definitely did not mean to do that. OOPS.
(But after all this, what's one more scar?)
DEAR SELF I HATE YOU
NO LOVE, SARAH

*breathing heavily*

self-loathing )
;askdlfa;da

I don't care that he's being sarcastic; this comment from my brother on facebook is the best thing in my life right now:
"Your coolness is immeasurable."

I AM FULL OF FEELINGS~
Exams: 3/5*

Dear body:

WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING. Stop dying on me! Exams aren't done yet, you cannot keep collapsing all over the place halfway through the day. I require the ability to complete sentences until Thursday at 5pm! I have to study like a mofo for French and Biopsyc, and that is dependent upon your ability to continuously maintain adequate muscle tension and to actually concentrate for more than 30 seconds at a time! This zoning out business has got to stop.

No love,
Sarah

a;sdlfjasdklf I am going to fail all the things. I am panicking now, but I cannot concentrate enough to study, which is new and unsettling. Thoughts start forming in my mind and then before I can complete them, they get obscured by white noise. So dumb.

As long as I can make it til Thursday, all will be forgiven.

*Exams I have a shot at passing: 0/5
Things My French Prof Talks About: a) the multiple stories within Jacques le fataliste, b) the quarrels, setbacks and conflicts that surrounded Diderot's work on L'Encyclopédie of 1751-72.

What I Choose To Do With That Knowledge: This. Posted a while ago on tumblr, but on here for posterity, because if you're looking for my stupid, you should be able to find it all in one place.

Not to mention, the following, being a ridiculous, completely historically inaccurate thing I wrote down while I should have been paying attention to a discussion about theater or something.

(Just going to preface the cut with the disclaimer that a) I know nothing about screenwriting; b)SO MUCH HISTORICAL INACCURACY because I can't be bothered to look up dates for these events; c) this is, actually, the most random thing EVER, sorry.)
d) franglais is totally an official language, wtf are you talking about? )

...I also wrote something down about a prompt for a prison!au-thing, based on Rousseau visiting Diderot while he was in prison* (and Diderot possibly subsequently influencing EVERYTHING ROUSSEAU DID, EVER (if you ask my prof)), but I think that will have to wait until I find the magical place where a kink meme for 18th century French writers/philosophes actually, y'know, exists.

*I live in fear of the day anyone asks to borrow my french notes. "What's this?" "Oh, that's, um. Just a bit of porn I wrote about Diderot getting it on with Voltaire. NBD."

ETA: Oh my GOD, dear flist D,,,,:  *HUGS*
SO I THINK I MENTIONED THAT I'M OBSESSED? [livejournal.com profile] ontd_skating  IS LIKE THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING. EPICALLY.

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY IE: MENTAL SCARRING NOT INTENDED, UNSURE ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THESE, ETC., ETC., I LIKE CAPSLOCK, DEFINITELY NOT DIAL-UP FRIENDLY

Read more... )

I AM OF THE OPINION THAT I NEED SOMETHING PORTABLE, DURABLE, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, HEAVY THAT I CAN CARRY WITH ME AT ALL TIMES AND USE TO BEAT MYSELF OVER THE HEAD WITH WHENEVER I HAVE INAPPROPRIATE THOUGHTS.

WHICH IS ALWAYS.
>.<

WHY SO FAIL?


In terms of other topics, I've had an OUAC tab open for the past half hour and have yet to actually do anything with it. Which programs? Which universities? What do I want to do with my life? *brainsplodey*

Today was horribly unproductive. It took me three hours to get through my math homework - and I only had a handful of questions. >.<
Got very little else done... needless to say, not feeling so hot right now.

Trip to McMaster U tomorrow for their fall preview day. It should be... interesting.

Sunday going over to C's to learn how to make phyllo pastries (IDK how to spell it), so that should be fun, if not terribly useful, concerning the MATH TEST OF DOOM I have on Monday.

Watched NMTB in lieu of doing Writer's Craft or Lit. homework. Awww, Simon, ILU. I miss Bill Bailey, though.

Being young and stupid SUCKS. (Well, at least I'm not old and stupid, ;-)) But still, that was STUPIDSTUPID STUPID. Gah.

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bitchy_merlin

March 2017

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