Contradictio in Terminis

Exams: 3/5*

Dear body:

WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING. Stop dying on me! Exams aren't done yet, you cannot keep collapsing all over the place halfway through the day. I require the ability to complete sentences until Thursday at 5pm! I have to study like a mofo for French and Biopsyc, and that is dependent upon your ability to continuously maintain adequate muscle tension and to actually concentrate for more than 30 seconds at a time! This zoning out business has got to stop.

No love,
Sarah

a;sdlfjasdklf I am going to fail all the things. I am panicking now, but I cannot concentrate enough to study, which is new and unsettling. Thoughts start forming in my mind and then before I can complete them, they get obscured by white noise. So dumb.

As long as I can make it til Thursday, all will be forgiven.

*Exams I have a shot at passing: 0/5

LOOOOOOOOOOOL FOREVER I LOVE THIS THREAD. AHAHAHAA, I WAS SO CONFUSED WHEN I READ "CBT" IN MY INBOX. I WAS LIKE, WOW, I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT OF COGNITIVE-BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY AS A KINK, BUT W/E W/E.

OHKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT, "COCK AND BALL TORTURE" DOES INDEED MAKE FOR THE SAME ACRONYM.

LAST NIGHT WAS WHITE COLLAR NIGHT. WHICH MEANS I GET TO WATCH IT TODAY ;ALKSDFJA;LSDKJFAS. :DDDDDDDDDDDDD I am, however, glaring balefully (possibly soon to be Balefully, oho!) at the To-Do List of Gnarrgh, whose existence means I must Exercise Restraint and not watch it until tonight after dance.

BUT FIRST CAN I POST ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE MY ABNORMAL PSYC COURSE?? OH MY GOD. ;ADKLSFJA;LSKJASKT; Ok, mostly the prof - ok, he's only our temporary prof - but whatever, whatever, haters gonna rotate. So basically, there is this prof named Dr. Bowie. And just. He is so competent and knowledgeable and interesting AND AWESOME. Today, for example, part of our lecture consisted of a Skype conference with a participant in one of Dr. Bowie's research/treatment labs. Last class, a man who had undergone treatment for schizophrenia came in to talk to us about his experiences. This being an abnormal psychology course, IRL connections like that are awesome. But, you know, I'd be equally happy just listening to Bowie's lectures all day. ;alsdkfa IDK, he is so interesting, I just fangirl him so hard. It is a good thing anime expressions don't translate literally to real life, because then the HEARTS AND STARS IN MY EYES would actually be a bit mortifying.  I actually caught myself doing IRL *flailyhands* at the start of class today... whoops. >.>

IN CONCLUSION: AWESOME.

Now I've got to go roll up the Sleeves of Willpower and tackle my readings.

1) Just got back from a lovely weekend in Niagara-on-the-Lake with vexinglyverbose and mod_martha. We shopped, swam, and ate awesome food. Last night, we went to see An Ideal Husband as part of the Shaw Festival. IT WAS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. And I wasn't even all that into seeing it in the first place. The tickets weren't exactly what you'd call cheap, so I was not too happy about spending that money, but I am so glad we went, because that was the most fantastic play I've ever had the pleasure of watching. The actors were terrific; the costumes were completely stunning, and, I mean, it's Oscar Wilde. What more can you ask for? What surprised me most about the play - more than the witty and intelligent writing, and the vivacity of the characters - was how thoroughly entertained I was throughout. I'm not a theater geek in any sense of the word, so I was like "eh, I will probably not be too enthralled by this" - BUT NO. I was completely taken from the opening act, and it was just FULL OF FABULOUS. ;ALSDJASLDKN;ASKLDJT SO MUCH LOVE FOR THAT PLAY. SO MUCH. ♥

2) I Have A Lot Of Feelings Questions: A Very Bitter Whiny Rant About My Education (Sorry for the Misplaced Commas)
Ok, someone please enlighten me because I cannot, for the life of me, understand this phenomenon. I am a generally mild-mannered university student. I go to Queen's University. I am planning to major in Psychology. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?! Every time I talk to someone about my degree, there is always this undertone of "what the fuck, why would you choose psychology?". There's always a pause after that, like I'm supposed to say "Surprise! Jokes - I'm actually going into bio/history/philosophy/acupuncture", and the other person will laugh, and all will be well. I will be the first to admit: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS. Whenever I tell anyone that I'm interested in psychology, I feel pressured to justify that interest. What can I say? I like knowing how the mind works. I like introspection. Why should I apologize for that? I'm majoring in it because I am interested in it - why is that so horrible?! 

Person: "So Sarah, what are you studying?"
Sarah: "Well, I'm majoring in Psychology--"
Person: "Oh, there's a psychologist here, can I leave the table now?"
(ACTUALFAX from this afternoon.)

Not to be impolite but what the fuck? I don't understand what's going on. What evil menace awaits in fourth year psyc? How is my degree worth less than that of someone who is going into Medieval Studies? Why does studying psychology make it sound like there's something wrong with me? It's my undergrad: no one's going to look at it after I've gotten my Master's, yet it feels like people are automatically writing me off because of it. It's gotten to the point that I don't like talking about my degree because I feel like I should be ashamed of it. And, trust, when you're spending this much money on something, you want it to be something you're not ashamed of.

Am I just projecting this? It's completely possible. (But I sure wasn't projecting the above conversation.) Is there some critical element of a BA in psyc that I have just failed to grasp? My mom majored in Psyc, and she turned out pretty well*. I'm just trying to do the same.

This shit just makes me want to say fuck it and enroll in one of those fancy-schmancy joint MBA/JD programs so that I won't have to continually justify myself, and people can finally shut up about my major.

TL;DR: Sarah whines about her degree; abuses question marks.

*This is a bit of an understatement. I love you, Mom.