Contradictio in Terminis

OH... MY... GOD.

I'M PUTTING A HIT OUT ON TODAY. I SWEAR TO GOD, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL SOMETHING. SOMUCHRAGE. (And all over the internet, too; dear Twitter feed, you are more than I deserve).
( Take: 1 hormonal teenager, 1 biopsyc midterm, 6 hours of sleep, 1 toaster, 1 irresponsible housemate. Put through blender. Makes OVER NINE THOUSAND servings of teen angst. )

*YAWN*

Hooray for ridiculously early bedtimes! OMG so excited for sleep :) (now watch sleep not come till three in the morning or something...) But. Today was good.

I had work today - last Saturday shift, what. I will be working tomorrow and on Monday, and then not for another month, depending on when shifts are available. At least after next weekend I won't have to miss any more dance classes. Anyway, today's shift was deadly boring but nice. The librarians are really nice, and the other page I work with is great. Also, one of the librarians gave me a belated Christmas card (!) with Ferrero Rocher chocolates attached (!!). It completely made my day; I didn't realize that I merited Christmas cards, but wow! (And one of the other staff members brought in a box of Tim's donuts... OM NOM NOM). On a completely random topic, I've become really interested in books on dance (mostly, let it be said, for the pictures). I keep skulking off into corners to read about Rudolf Nureyev when I should be shelf-reading.

In the evening, Kim and Frank were supposed to come over (*gasp* A proper dinner party?! Never!), but alas! Our plans were derailed by Frank's untimely illness. So Iqra and I ended up going first to a small coffee shop and then to The Brass, which is a pub not far from our house (hell, what am I saying? Nothing is far from our house here). The food was good, if uneventful. Actually, no, that's a lie. It was the best fucking chicken wrap of my life, oh my God. Like. OM NOM NOM, REAL FOOD instead of our regular carbs-and-water fare. There were even vegetables; it was delicious.

The walk home was fucking freezing, holy balls. I ended up jogging in a strange half-shuffle, pitched forward slightly to protect myself from the wind, and generally moving in the most awkward way possible. I couldn't feel my toes - it was colder than Collingwood during the ski season.

Me: "Thank God we're home!"
Iqra: *faceplants onto radiator*

Now I am so, so ready for bed. Tackled some biopsyc reading tonight and a bit of Turcaret during my lunch break; fuck yeah academia. BRB SLEEPING FOREVER~

*dusts hands off*

Today snuck up on me! There I was, sitting in my chair and checking my email, and BAM! suddenly it's the new year. Happy New Year, everyone! Here's hoping to movements of the "onwards and upwards" variety for 2011. :-)

Original plans for New Year's were of the "going out dancing and getting hammered" variety, but those fell through by virtue of Chloe and I being out of the city for a week prior and no one else having the organizational balls to do anything about it. So I ended up joining her at a friend Caitlyn's house, where, among other things, we danced, made mulled apple cider (Tasty!), played video games and Apples to Apples, watched AtLA, drank copious amounts of tea, ate copious amounts of junk food, made copious amounts of nerdy internet references (over nine thousand!) and generally had a good time. Saw some people there whom I'd gone to school with in grade four. It's interesting to see how people have grown up. 

To ring in the first day of 2011 (!!), David and I went out for breakfast with Oma. SO MUCH FOOD. (And then I went and exercised forever, omg.) Tonight, we made sushi again. So much deliciousness, holy.

Today has been awesomely chill, in that all I've done is ignore my exchange application and dick around on the internet, hooray! Yuletide is eating my lifeeeeeeee! 33 pages of Discworld and Good Omens fic! I'm a little bit in heaven right now. ♥

While in the midst of my Sherlock/Discworld/GO fic-reading spree, I realized that something's changed for me in fandom. When I was new(er) to LJ/the internet, fandom was for me a mainly individual pursuit. Sure, I had my (fledgling, tiny) flist and there were communities I checked regularly (remusxsirius , anyone? Holy hell, I used to have muscle memory for typing that address.) and authors I adored, but when it came down to it, fandom was basically me reading fic, and that was it. It wasn't anything I would call "lonely", because fandom, I don't think, could ever be lonely, that's the whole darn point of it, but I will perhaps call it "narrow". Aside from the occasional capslock-tastic comments on fics, I didn't really interact a lot with any other fans. (This is not to say that I do so to an extreme now, but I digress.) But then time passed and there were new fandoms to explore. Macros took over everything. The TDK party posts were probably where I learned that fandom didn't have to be solely individual. So many people! So many comments! SO! MUCH! CAPSLOOOOCCCCCCCKKK! Then Star Trek '09: the fic was amazing, the artists were top-notch, but I was still constantly distracted by thoughts of HOLY GOD LOOK AT THOSE PARTY POSTS GOOOOO~ ALSO THE KINK MEMES. Yuss. Fans interacting with other fans! An anonymous epistolary free-for-all! APH eating may brain for a looooooooooooooong time. :D Bit by bit, I learned that fandom didn't have to be all about the fic. Yes, fic is my drug of choice, but hey! The people are awesome too!

This was really driven home for me by ontd_skating . Suddenly, the Kink Meme almost took a backseat to the other members of the comm. Seeing so many people talking to each other and suddenly being aware that - hey! - I could join in too! It was novel. Before, fandom had always been comforting because I knew that there were a bunch of people out there in the world with whom I shared interests and opinions - the fic they wrote proved it. But with my dawning awareness of things like the APH/Inception/Star Trek/[your fandom here] Kink Meme and places like ontd_startrek  and ontd_skating  (SO MANY LULZ), I realized that yes, fandom is made up of people with similar and sometimes obscure interests - but fic didn't have to be my only connection to them. I realized that I could actually interact with those awesome people and take an active role in my personal fandom experience. Whoa.

This realization only solidified with the Epic Adventure that was Skate Chanada 2010 (and guys, I could never make a "Fuck 2010 List", because despite all the other stuff that happened, SC made my year unbelievably awesome). HOLY SHIT, THE PEOPLE POSTING IN THE COMM ACTUALLY EXIST IRL!!  AND THEY'RE ALL AWESOME!! That was the sum total of what was blowing my mind throughout that weekend. The discovery was so obvious, but just ~*~SO WHELMING~*~ I don't evan. SC was also a major bit of fannish involvement, I think. I have never spent that much money on anything fandom related before, but ;LAKSDJFALKJTA;TLKAJ; soooo worth every penny. :D (I don't even want to say that it was a once-in-a-lifetime event because I'm just MISSING MAY BROS so hardcore rn (wish I could have been there for NYE akdjfasld NEXT TIME) that I will definitely be on board for any reuniting that may happen in the future).

So fandom has evolved into a much bigger social conduit. It took me a while (as it always does) to catch up to the herd, but now that I have dusted off my Twitter account for SC, and since fellow-LJers seem to crop up where I least expect them IRL (hello, lovebanshee , thatdayismine  and ironychan !), fandom is more about connection than ever. It's this giant ridicu-mazing thing that makes me run out of adjectives and that I don't think I could ever properly define, but I'm really glad and honoured to be a part of. Fandom, being in it, and what I've learned and the people I've met through it, has helped shape who I am now. A little cheesy? Yeah. But not without truth. Taking a leaf from P. Chiddy (hay, don't look at me like that, I've been PChiddy-holmed) in DJBijoux's flawless, stunning, gorgeous, perfect, etc. remix:

HEY, FANDOM: YOU'RE REALLY, REALLY PRETTY, REALLY NICE. REALLY PRETTY, REALLY NICE. I HOPE I CAN ALWAYS KNOW YOU FOREVER!! 8D (<- PChan eyes!)

♥

1. DAMN YOU, YAHOO, Y U NO LET ME BE GRATE?????

a;sdkfj;alsdf Y U GOTTA B LIKE DIS? Shutting down delicious = NOT ON BRO. D-:<<<<<

Brb, exporting all the things.

2. Iqra left this morning, which means the house is now in the process of being CLEANED FINALLY OMG. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF brb surrendering to OCD-like tendencies. Also, Kim came over today and we made cookies and hot chocolate, OM NOM NOM NOM. ♥

3. It's been one year, and I am stupidly, ridiculously, un-fucking-believably grateful. Can't even express.

I think if I were a rational human being I would be over her by now. Unfortunately, "rational human being" is somewhat of an oxymoron. Alas. ;p

Ach. I had a lovely post typed up that I'd spent an embarrassingly long time laboriously typing up on my iPod, and then I touched the wrong part of the screen, and alas. No saved draft.

Clearly I will have to leave the mobile posting to another time.

Here's the summary:

( Read more... )

I'm going to go remedy that now, as I have conveniently realized that I have not one but THREE chapters of cognitive psyc to catch up on before I can start studying for next week's midterm. TO THE BOOKS!

First order of business: It's been one month here, and I have so far refrained from killing anyone. Hooray.
( THE HAPPY PART (+1 IMAGE) )

( THE ANGSTY PART - feel free to tl;dr )

OMG, why do my posts involve so much emotional whiplash?

*The ...what, ninth? Ranger's Apprentice book by John Flanagan. SOMEDAY I WILL STOP OBSESSING OVER CHEESY 12-YEAR OLD BOOKS, I SWEAR.

 

( Dancers gonna dance )

 

 

( Sarah squees and dies over White Collar, as usual. Translation of DancingMan font. )

1) Just got back from a lovely weekend in Niagara-on-the-Lake with vexinglyverbose and mod_martha. We shopped, swam, and ate awesome food. Last night, we went to see An Ideal Husband as part of the Shaw Festival. IT WAS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. And I wasn't even all that into seeing it in the first place. The tickets weren't exactly what you'd call cheap, so I was not too happy about spending that money, but I am so glad we went, because that was the most fantastic play I've ever had the pleasure of watching. The actors were terrific; the costumes were completely stunning, and, I mean, it's Oscar Wilde. What more can you ask for? What surprised me most about the play - more than the witty and intelligent writing, and the vivacity of the characters - was how thoroughly entertained I was throughout. I'm not a theater geek in any sense of the word, so I was like "eh, I will probably not be too enthralled by this" - BUT NO. I was completely taken from the opening act, and it was just FULL OF FABULOUS. ;ALSDJASLDKN;ASKLDJT SO MUCH LOVE FOR THAT PLAY. SO MUCH. ♥

2) I Have A Lot Of Feelings Questions: A Very Bitter Whiny Rant About My Education (Sorry for the Misplaced Commas)
Ok, someone please enlighten me because I cannot, for the life of me, understand this phenomenon. I am a generally mild-mannered university student. I go to Queen's University. I am planning to major in Psychology. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?! Every time I talk to someone about my degree, there is always this undertone of "what the fuck, why would you choose psychology?". There's always a pause after that, like I'm supposed to say "Surprise! Jokes - I'm actually going into bio/history/philosophy/acupuncture", and the other person will laugh, and all will be well. I will be the first to admit: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS. Whenever I tell anyone that I'm interested in psychology, I feel pressured to justify that interest. What can I say? I like knowing how the mind works. I like introspection. Why should I apologize for that? I'm majoring in it because I am interested in it - why is that so horrible?! 

Person: "So Sarah, what are you studying?"
Sarah: "Well, I'm majoring in Psychology--"
Person: "Oh, there's a psychologist here, can I leave the table now?"
(ACTUALFAX from this afternoon.)

Not to be impolite but what the fuck? I don't understand what's going on. What evil menace awaits in fourth year psyc? How is my degree worth less than that of someone who is going into Medieval Studies? Why does studying psychology make it sound like there's something wrong with me? It's my undergrad: no one's going to look at it after I've gotten my Master's, yet it feels like people are automatically writing me off because of it. It's gotten to the point that I don't like talking about my degree because I feel like I should be ashamed of it. And, trust, when you're spending this much money on something, you want it to be something you're not ashamed of.

Am I just projecting this? It's completely possible. (But I sure wasn't projecting the above conversation.) Is there some critical element of a BA in psyc that I have just failed to grasp? My mom majored in Psyc, and she turned out pretty well*. I'm just trying to do the same.

This shit just makes me want to say fuck it and enroll in one of those fancy-schmancy joint MBA/JD programs so that I won't have to continually justify myself, and people can finally shut up about my major.

TL;DR: Sarah whines about her degree; abuses question marks.

*This is a bit of an understatement. I love you, Mom.

Yesterday (Friday), I biked to work in the rain. There was dirt everywhere, including in my hair, wtf. So, I got out of the shower at work all nice and clean... and realized I'd forgotten my clothes at my desk. Because I am awesome. :/

But aside from that, Friday was good. Saw The Karate Kid with cherishedsaulie  and vexinglyverbose . OH, THAT MOVIE. ♥ IT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED: CUTE AND FUNNY, AND FULL OF CHEESY GOODNESS. (There is a soft spot in my heart for movies like this.) AND IT HAD JACKIE CHAN. I CANNOT ASK MORE THAN THAT. JACKIE CHAN IS KIND OF MY HERO BECAUSE HE IS SO AWESOME AND AND AND JUST. NO WORDS. *FLAILS* :D

So yeah, it was a ridiculously cute movie (Jaden Smith is about ten different kinds of adorable). I recommend it for those who will never truly outgrow the 9-12 age group.

After the movie, we went to Trevor's party. It was meh. People were already shitfaced by the time we got there, so Chloe and I stayed for a couple hours and then called it quits. We crashed at my house, and this morning, we made CHOCOLATE CHIP AND BLUEBERRY PANCAKES, OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Now, I'm just chilling. I've got work from 4:30-9:30 today, and then all day tomorrow.

OH AND I'm registered for my courses for next year! 3 different PSYC courses, 1 french lit course (not the one I really wanted, alas), and 1 intro to German course (because the Classics Department refused to let me into beginner Latin, arrrgh). Still, it should be fun. Oh man, I just realized that this is the longest I've gone without school in my life. Kinda scary.