[personal profile] bitchy_merlin


I really can't help feeling like a thirteen year old girl whenever I think like this. I know it starts as nothing and it will come to nothing, but this is a small quasi-happy bubble in a time that is honestly not going to be easy to get through for me, and I just want to put this here for posterity, to remind myself that not every thought I've ever had has been negative.

A rundown of the situation: I'm smack in the middle of Don training. It's intensive, twelve-hour days every day of the week. It's not easy. Constantly surrounded by other people, so many different responsibilities being piled on my shoulders... I don't know if I'll be able to cope with all of this when the time comes.

But I just want to take the time for this, the time to simply appreciate the small things. Today, for instance, we had "Camp Day". Everyone was packed up into buses and we were shipped off to one of the multitude of campgrounds dotting the area around Kingston proper. On the bus ride, Rico (Senior Don, Grad Res) took out his guitar and we all sang along to "Soul Sister", "Wonderwall", "American Pie" and "Wagon Wheel". I was sitting a few seats back from where Rico was chatting with Alli, Michelle, and Ioana, but I kept leaning into the aisle to hear what he was playing and whenever he looked up I was beaming at him like the sun shone out of his bodily orifices or something. It was a chatty, sunny bus ride filled with music and laughter and I just remember being so damn happy because hey, I'm on a bus with Rico and he's smiling at me.

Yes, thirteen, I know.

At the campground, we did all sorts of team-building exercises. Then we had free time; I took that opportunity to join a football game and be severely disappointed by North Americans' general lack of football prowess (hey, I was initiated into the sport in the Netherlands, ok? Excuse me if I'm a little less than impressed here). It was good times, though. In the evening, we sat around a campfire thoughtfully set up by MCRC and sang more songs. Rico brought out his guitar again. I never thought I would be in that place. It was so joyful. I was sandwhiched between Rico and Matt S, the JRHC Pres, and the rest of the dons were in a linked circle surrounding us, swaying and singing. I was laughing and joking with Matt and singing with the dons and my shoulder was brushing Rico's shoulder the whole time.

Again, I know it means nothing. Nothing but a few moments of happiness for me.

(He's not the type of person I would usually gush about, but I really like his smile. I hope he has kind eyes.)



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