so i know that if i killed myself, my friends would be worried/sad for me. and living, i hate that because i love them and don't want to worry them. but you can't feel guilty when you're dead.

i don't think i'm scared of suicide; i'm scared of what would happen if i failed.
 I just put a plastic bag over my head and tied it there but took it off before I choked and does that count as a suicide attempt or would you like me to try harder next time?
this is the unasked question. we always come back here, don't we? this same place, four walls, one room. i am in you; there is no escaping me. you can lose me for a while (in a mug of coffee, a sunny day, a friend's smile) but the track marks on your wrists call to me and your thighs are red where i have tasted your flesh.

i will taste more flesh before this is through, and more than that besides.

you know why i'm here. you know what i want from you. you know what i will ask you to do.

the dark night, early to mid-october, is cold, silent )

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bitchy_merlin

March 2017

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