(no subject)

[bitchy_merlin]

 I love this. 

I needed this. The winter holidays, a break from everything I've been doing. No gym, no school, it's brilliant. Not forever, of course, but for the two weeks I need to recharge and help me cope. Looking back, I honestly don't know how I got through the last two months. For the last three or so weeks, I've been battling this horrible, raging, all-consuming... apathy. I don't know what to do with myself. My math mark slipped 3 percent, and I completely fudged an english essay, I didn't study for a bio quiz and neglected to read the instructions, and I just... I just didn't care. it was as if I was just physically unable to give a damn about anything in my life. I've never felt that way before, and it scared the crap out of me. I don't know why, why now in this year when my grades actually count for something, why I'm so unconcerned. I don't get it. 

but now, with the winter holidays stretching on before me, I feel so relieved. It feels great to knkow that I don't have to do anything, or be anyone but who I want to be. I don't have to interact with anyone but whomever I choose (save the 25/26, but I'm not there yet). it's a wonderful kind of freedom. And it gives me a chance to collect myself so this apatheticness won't happen again. 
To Do in Jan. 08:
- latin vocab 16b-18
- work harder on math/bio/english (esp math)
- go to gym more regularly
- or find some other way to stay fit
- stuff that I can't remember right now

TO Do over the hols:
- marathon LotR with M
- reunion with N, M, and S
- email A 
- SC to Collingwood
- chill+have fun
- be

:-)
And in case I'm incommunicado for the next while, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS  to anyone who sees!