a basic type of infinity
Dec. 16th, 2007 09:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bitchy_merlin A Tale in Two Parts: Part I
On Saturday, at lust after 10:30 am, I spent one of the most stressful half-hours of my life doing my final driving lesson which was also a practice G2 examination. Stress, I've decided, no matter what anyone says, is NOT a good motivator. I basically had a mini-panic attack, etc. But, all in all, I passed (a pass is 70/100 - I got 88/100). I felt pretty good about it. Especially since my dad didn't think I could do it (well, he still doesn't think I can do it, but we'll find out sometime in January).
Quite honestly, I was shocked to find out exactly how little faith my father has in me: Do you actually think you're ready to take your road test? Because I doubt it. It hurt, I won't lie. I mean, sure I'm not the greatest driver out there or anything; I'm not pretending to be. But I've been paying attention during the driving lessons, and that has to count for something, right? I mean, I know that I've improved. I can even park the car without crashing. So why the lack of faith? Why the blatant disbelief in my abilities? Before this, my dad always believed in me -- or at least pretended to. So why now? How is this any different than an exam or a gymnastics competition? Is it because dad sees this as a rite of passage? Does he think having my G2 will automatically make me a grownup? Nothing could be farther from the truth, I assure you.
And it's not even that big of a deal to me if dad believes in me right now or not. I just have to try my hardest and hope to prove him wrong. I mean, I don't want him to doubt me, but even if he does, as shown, what can I do about it? Try not to lose my head, I guess... literally or figuratively.
On Saturday, at lust after 10:30 am, I spent one of the most stressful half-hours of my life doing my final driving lesson which was also a practice G2 examination. Stress, I've decided, no matter what anyone says, is NOT a good motivator. I basically had a mini-panic attack, etc. But, all in all, I passed (a pass is 70/100 - I got 88/100). I felt pretty good about it. Especially since my dad didn't think I could do it (well, he still doesn't think I can do it, but we'll find out sometime in January).
Quite honestly, I was shocked to find out exactly how little faith my father has in me: Do you actually think you're ready to take your road test? Because I doubt it. It hurt, I won't lie. I mean, sure I'm not the greatest driver out there or anything; I'm not pretending to be. But I've been paying attention during the driving lessons, and that has to count for something, right? I mean, I know that I've improved. I can even park the car without crashing. So why the lack of faith? Why the blatant disbelief in my abilities? Before this, my dad always believed in me -- or at least pretended to. So why now? How is this any different than an exam or a gymnastics competition? Is it because dad sees this as a rite of passage? Does he think having my G2 will automatically make me a grownup? Nothing could be farther from the truth, I assure you.
And it's not even that big of a deal to me if dad believes in me right now or not. I just have to try my hardest and hope to prove him wrong. I mean, I don't want him to doubt me, but even if he does, as shown, what can I do about it? Try not to lose my head, I guess... literally or figuratively.
Part 1.5: Starryskies has ended the J/M series! I hope whatever she writes next is just as good!
Part II
Ahh, tonight was good. So what if I have a bio quiz tomorrow? Tonight I got to see my gym friends again from the old group. So what if S and E and myself didn't get a chance to talk? I got to spend time with Izzie and A, and that was just about as much as I ever wanted. It's been too long. I really missed seeing A on a regular basis. It was kind of awkward at first, just sitting there, but then A came, and it was as if things just clicked into place. I loved it. It made me feel happy. :-) And we talked about stuff too - not just the superficial stuff like E and S, like "intense" TV shows, but actuall stuff, like H coming back and old coaches. Note to Self: Ask Mr Low re: IH, because she was in his class. Damn, I want to go to Classics! ANyway, it was awesome and fun to see all my friends again, cause I really have missed them (esp. AM). :-)
Ahh, tonight was good. So what if I have a bio quiz tomorrow? Tonight I got to see my gym friends again from the old group. So what if S and E and myself didn't get a chance to talk? I got to spend time with Izzie and A, and that was just about as much as I ever wanted. It's been too long. I really missed seeing A on a regular basis. It was kind of awkward at first, just sitting there, but then A came, and it was as if things just clicked into place. I loved it. It made me feel happy. :-) And we talked about stuff too - not just the superficial stuff like E and S, like "intense" TV shows, but actuall stuff, like H coming back and old coaches. Note to Self: Ask Mr Low re: IH, because she was in his class. Damn, I want to go to Classics! ANyway, it was awesome and fun to see all my friends again, cause I really have missed them (esp. AM). :-)
