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bitchy_merlinI honestly think I'm going crazy. If this is what the first three weeks of grade 11 are like, what the hell am I going to do in grade 12? Uni?
I'm so scared.
Now onto a completely different topic, because I can't wrap my mind around the fact that Aa's leaving. O.O
I'm so scared.
Although, I think anyone reading this would agree, my friend Aa. has it worse. Better a stressful school year (I'll learn to cope) than leaving the country for an arranged marriage to a man you don't know. Her last day of school is on Friday, and then she has a week before she
leaves.
How the fuck is she going to deal with that? I mean, she'll be leaving behind everything she's lived with for years. That has got to be ther scariest thing ever. She's not even legal in Canada! Sixteen and planning her wedding. What. The. Fuck. It's kind of surreal, y'know? I can't wrap my mind around that fact that she's leaving in, like, a week from Friday. Where did the time go?
M, N, and I want to buy her a present, but what do you get a 16 year old who's about to get married? I think everybody's kind of in shock. I know I am.
leaves.
How the fuck is she going to deal with that? I mean, she'll be leaving behind everything she's lived with for years. That has got to be ther scariest thing ever. She's not even legal in Canada! Sixteen and planning her wedding. What. The. Fuck. It's kind of surreal, y'know? I can't wrap my mind around that fact that she's leaving in, like, a week from Friday. Where did the time go?
M, N, and I want to buy her a present, but what do you get a 16 year old who's about to get married? I think everybody's kind of in shock. I know I am.
Now onto a completely different topic, because I can't wrap my mind around the fact that Aa's leaving. O.O
"And slowly I begin to realize /
this is never gonna end /
and right about the same time you walk by /
and I say Oh, here we go again, oh!"
Sums up the Me<>Steph dynamic pretty much perfectly. I saw her at gym yesterday, which is notable because she didn't have gym: she was only picking up her brother. Or, more accurately, her mom was picking up her brother. Steph came over while we were at vault and we actually go to have a conversation. A conversation that didn't consist of:
"Hey, Steph."
"Hey."
"Oh, crap, I gotta go. Bye."
"Bye."
No. This was longer. And more meaningful. And better. And just when I had resigned myself to the thought that she'd given up on our friendship.
Out of everything we said in the probably 7 minutes we talked (not long but, hey, I've been existing on smiles and waves for the past 2 weeks), there was one thing Steph said that really stood out to me; that made me light up like a 1000-watt bulb at high noon (as if I hadn't been glowing already).
She said: "Can we please talk more on Wednesday and Sunday, cause I hardly ever see you anymore!"
Pretty much verbatim.
Arrgh, what is it about this girl that makes everything she says to me so special?! I swear to goodness, I thought I was over her. I really did. For fuck's sake, I thought I was straight! What is this? Has the last year created a Pavlovian response in my mind, so I feel like I'm supposed to like her? I kind of enjoy crushing on people, and I'm a mad romantic at heart, I'll admit. Or is this what attraction actually fels like? Hair pulling, teeth gnashing, and the like. I'm not even going to pretend to understand anymore. I'll just go with the flow and see where it takes me.
Suddenly, I'm unreasonably excited for gym on Wednesday.
Typical.
this is never gonna end /
and right about the same time you walk by /
and I say Oh, here we go again, oh!"
Sums up the Me<>Steph dynamic pretty much perfectly. I saw her at gym yesterday, which is notable because she didn't have gym: she was only picking up her brother. Or, more accurately, her mom was picking up her brother. Steph came over while we were at vault and we actually go to have a conversation. A conversation that didn't consist of:
"Hey, Steph."
"Hey."
"Oh, crap, I gotta go. Bye."
"Bye."
No. This was longer. And more meaningful. And better. And just when I had resigned myself to the thought that she'd given up on our friendship.
Out of everything we said in the probably 7 minutes we talked (not long but, hey, I've been existing on smiles and waves for the past 2 weeks), there was one thing Steph said that really stood out to me; that made me light up like a 1000-watt bulb at high noon (as if I hadn't been glowing already).
She said: "Can we please talk more on Wednesday and Sunday, cause I hardly ever see you anymore!"
Pretty much verbatim.
Arrgh, what is it about this girl that makes everything she says to me so special?! I swear to goodness, I thought I was over her. I really did. For fuck's sake, I thought I was straight! What is this? Has the last year created a Pavlovian response in my mind, so I feel like I'm supposed to like her? I kind of enjoy crushing on people, and I'm a mad romantic at heart, I'll admit. Or is this what attraction actually fels like? Hair pulling, teeth gnashing, and the like. I'm not even going to pretend to understand anymore. I'll just go with the flow and see where it takes me.
Suddenly, I'm unreasonably excited for gym on Wednesday.
Typical.
