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bitchy_merlinProtip: when your SO reveals that they're going through a really tough time and that they're thinking about suicide... DON'T BREAK UP WITH THEM.
*FACEPALM HEADDESK WALLSLAM OF RAGE*
Long story short, earlier this week Hanna told Jamie about ODing on pills over the weekend and next thing I know I'm getting a facebook message from her saying "we're talking about breaking up" and I'm just like WHAT.
For two of the smartest people I know, they can be REALLY STUPID sometimes.
And I mean, I know that I'm only tlaking to them infrequently, and I don't know what it's like for them to have a long distance relationship... but really? Breakups, really? They've been together for over a year... I thought they were happy! Honestly, you should have seen Hanna's fucking face when they got together on exchange. She fucking lit up from the inside. I thought Jamie'd float away with happiness. Gawd. And now. I said as much to Hanna, I said I thought they were happy, and she replied with "well, maybe my happiness will jsut have to wait" and I'm like HOW IS THAT GOING TO HELP ANYTHING. And I'm not sure if I should be mad at her for apparently giving up on what appears to be a really great thing in her life or if I should be mad at Jamie because he has "distance issues" but I am super concerned for them both because they legit seem to make each other happy and I just feel like they're throwing it away over one more year of long-distance.
And, you know, I know I'm not exactly a relationship guru. Having you know, never been in a serious romantic one. But. But. is the point of love or whatever not that it should endure? I am a closet romantic, I know this, but it feels like they're giving up too easily. Easy to sy for me, but that's how I see it and I'm waiting on more information before I reform that opinion (I hope I have cause to change it). I just can't fucking stand it, being halfway across the world while people I love suffer. TBH IDK whas help I would be in person either, but still. If I could Fedex myself there, I would. If Hanna said she needed me there, I would be on the next fucking flight. I would crawl. I would swim.
I'm scared Jamie is dropping her because suicide is a fucking heavy thing. And it can't be easy for him at all. And I'm scared Hanna is going with it because she is punishing herself. And i'm scared that they're both going to make themselves miserable when they deserve to be fucking happy. How do I help this? Finding a magical way to pay for Hanna's therapy so she can stay in England? Thwacking Jamie over the head with a dictionary until he takes a leap and sticks with her?
And I feel so bad for Hanna because this is a completely shit situation and fuck, I get so scared when I have to wait for her to answer my messages like what if she--? I can't complete that thought. And then I start freaking out about well, how would I even know anyway, who would even tell me? Jamie? Perhaps. Simo? I can't. God I can't even think about it, I get so scared. Hanna, dont leave. (But if you do, I lwill love and respect you because of the fucking courage ending it takes, too).
[[on top of all this, I made the mistake of listening to older Mariana's Trench songs, from when Josh Ramsay was struggling with drugs, depression and EDs and wow that shit will fuck you up so fast. It's amazing to be able to identify with the songs but terrifying at the same time and emotions like that are not what I need at a time like this.]]
I mean shit, I still remember my last words to her at Amsterdam Centraal, "I'm going to die". Hanna, if you leave, I fuking will. Gods, I wish there was something I could do to help. :-(
*FACEPALM HEADDESK WALLSLAM OF RAGE*
Long story short, earlier this week Hanna told Jamie about ODing on pills over the weekend and next thing I know I'm getting a facebook message from her saying "we're talking about breaking up" and I'm just like WHAT.
For two of the smartest people I know, they can be REALLY STUPID sometimes.
And I mean, I know that I'm only tlaking to them infrequently, and I don't know what it's like for them to have a long distance relationship... but really? Breakups, really? They've been together for over a year... I thought they were happy! Honestly, you should have seen Hanna's fucking face when they got together on exchange. She fucking lit up from the inside. I thought Jamie'd float away with happiness. Gawd. And now. I said as much to Hanna, I said I thought they were happy, and she replied with "well, maybe my happiness will jsut have to wait" and I'm like HOW IS THAT GOING TO HELP ANYTHING. And I'm not sure if I should be mad at her for apparently giving up on what appears to be a really great thing in her life or if I should be mad at Jamie because he has "distance issues" but I am super concerned for them both because they legit seem to make each other happy and I just feel like they're throwing it away over one more year of long-distance.
And, you know, I know I'm not exactly a relationship guru. Having you know, never been in a serious romantic one. But. But. is the point of love or whatever not that it should endure? I am a closet romantic, I know this, but it feels like they're giving up too easily. Easy to sy for me, but that's how I see it and I'm waiting on more information before I reform that opinion (I hope I have cause to change it). I just can't fucking stand it, being halfway across the world while people I love suffer. TBH IDK whas help I would be in person either, but still. If I could Fedex myself there, I would. If Hanna said she needed me there, I would be on the next fucking flight. I would crawl. I would swim.
I'm scared Jamie is dropping her because suicide is a fucking heavy thing. And it can't be easy for him at all. And I'm scared Hanna is going with it because she is punishing herself. And i'm scared that they're both going to make themselves miserable when they deserve to be fucking happy. How do I help this? Finding a magical way to pay for Hanna's therapy so she can stay in England? Thwacking Jamie over the head with a dictionary until he takes a leap and sticks with her?
And I feel so bad for Hanna because this is a completely shit situation and fuck, I get so scared when I have to wait for her to answer my messages like what if she--? I can't complete that thought. And then I start freaking out about well, how would I even know anyway, who would even tell me? Jamie? Perhaps. Simo? I can't. God I can't even think about it, I get so scared. Hanna, dont leave. (But if you do, I lwill love and respect you because of the fucking courage ending it takes, too).
[[on top of all this, I made the mistake of listening to older Mariana's Trench songs, from when Josh Ramsay was struggling with drugs, depression and EDs and wow that shit will fuck you up so fast. It's amazing to be able to identify with the songs but terrifying at the same time and emotions like that are not what I need at a time like this.]]
I mean shit, I still remember my last words to her at Amsterdam Centraal, "I'm going to die". Hanna, if you leave, I fuking will. Gods, I wish there was something I could do to help. :-(
