bitchy_merlin | (no subject)

Y'know what I hate?

I hate it when grownups-->adults are talking to you, after you've screwed something up, or missed a chance or something, and they're talking to you with voices like the knell of doom, and it's like they're saying too bad, you messed up but whatever we've done all we can and it's not enough because you still screwed up and there's no help for it now it doesn't matter except it does, it might be a little thing for them, but it's a big thing for you--maybe one of the biggest things in your life, and you know you've screwed up, and you want reassurance that everything's ok, but they can't or don't or won't give it to you. and it's like you're on your own, and shit's gonna happen, and it's all your fault cause you messed up. and we can't fix it.

Cause it scares me, thinking that I messed up my life.
augh. I haven't even done anything, this just came to me...