THE OUTFIT IS NOW A GOLD MEDAL (aka Reason 9001 why Sarah really, really needs a job)

[bitchy_merlin]

This post is the estranged stepchild of THIS EPIC AND WHELMING WORK OF BRILLIANCE (Most. Epic. Ever.), and came about because The Lonely Island will forever hold a special place in my heart. My undying gratitude goes to cherishedsaulie  and thatdayismine  for their awesome input.

So please... ENJOY. :D

OH SHIT!



GET YOUR SKATE BLADES READY, IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN



EVERYBODY IN THE PLACE HIT THE FUCKIN' DECK
BUT STAY ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' TOE PICKS
WE SKATIN' THIS, LET'S GO!



I'M IN A RINK
I'M IN A RINK
EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME CAUSE I'M SKATING IN A RINK



I'M IN A RINK
I'M IN A RINK
TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' RINK

*

I'M IN A RINK, MOTHERFUCKER, TAKE A LOOK AT ME
STRAIGHT GLIDIN' CROSS THE ICE LIKE A FROZEN SEA



I'M BUSTING TOE LOOPS, WIND WHIPPING THROUGH MY MULLET
BUT BEST TAKE COVER MOTHERFUCKER, I QUAD LIKE A BULLET



TAKE A PICTURE TRICK, I'M IN A RINK, BITCH.
DRINKIN' CHOCOLATE POWERSHAKES SO I CAN STAY FIT
I GOT MY SKATE GUARDS AND MY SPARKLY ONESIES
WITH MY ILLUSION MESH, IT'S CLEAR I'M WEARING UNDIES.



I'M DOING STRAIGHT LINE FOOTWORK, DOING SPINS AND SHIT
I'M WEARING WANG, YEAH, GETTIN' SCOOT HILALMITONS ALL WET



BUT THIS AIN'T JUNIOR WORLDS, THIS IS AS REAL AS IT GETS
I'M IN A RINK, MOTHERFUCKER,
DON'T YOU EVER FORGET!



I'M IN A RINK AND
I'M WINNIN' MEDALS AND
I'VE GOT A ZEBRA PRINT-THEMED PASHMINA AFGHAN



I'M THE KWEEN OF THE WORLD, SKATING LIKE I'M FROM HEAVEN



WHO WON GOLD, DID YOU HEAR? YEAH BRO, IT WAS EVAN.



GET THE FUCK UP!



THIS QUAD IS REAL!



FUCK SPINS, THIS IS A LUTZ, MOTHERFUCKER
FUCK BRONZE, I'M WINNING GOLD, MOTHERFUCKER

I'M ON THE ICE WITH MY BOYS, MOTHERFUCKER



THE ZAMBONI MAKES NOIZE MOTHERFUCKER



HEY DAD IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW
ATOP THE PODIUM AS I'M TAKIN' A BOW
 

I'MA FREE SKATE TO THE MOON SOMEHOW
LIKE WINNING PLATINUM
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
(YEAH)



NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE IN A RINK
YEAH MY TASSEL IS TOTALLY PINK
HEY JUDGES, LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEE (OOOooooOOOOO)



NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY
WITH A MONGOOSE HEADED MY WAY

 

BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY:
I INTERACTED SUCCESSFULLY WITH A LADY!


  

I'M IN A RINK
I'M IN A RINK
EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME CAUSE I'M SKATING IN A RINK



I'M IN A RINK
I'M IN A RINK
TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKING RINK

**

SHORTY
SHORTY
YEAH-EE-YEAH-YEAH~



NO REPOSTS.

THANK YOU TO ALL THE GQMFS WHO MADE THE WHELMING IMAGES/MACROS/GIFS. IF YOU WANT CREDIT, JUST ASK ♥
*It's like Easter eggs (except less awesome, I guess): this is the rink where we shall stalk Bjou if he comes to Toronto!
** Dear cherishedsaulie : never doubt my commitment to sparkle motion.





Here is the original song, for reference.