i wish the real world would stop hasslin' me

First order of business: It's been one month here, and I have so far refrained from killing anyone. Hooray.
( THE HAPPY PART (+1 IMAGE) )

( THE ANGSTY PART - feel free to tl;dr )

OMG, why do my posts involve so much emotional whiplash?

*The ...what, ninth? Ranger's Apprentice book by John Flanagan. SOMEDAY I WILL STOP OBSESSING OVER CHEESY 12-YEAR OLD BOOKS, I SWEAR.