bitchy_merlin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bitchy_merlin) wrote2008-03-16 07:45 pm
bitchy_merlin) wrote2008-03-16 07:45 pm
Entry tags:
Sun Peaks, etc.
Back from BC - it was awesome! Perfect snow, weather, everything. Nothing beats that first run of the day, when the sun's shining and the wind all around you, carving through the immaculate corduroy all the way down the hill... wow. ... And then the Burfield Quad that took 22 minutes to get to the top. It was great, and I hope everyone else's March Break was/is just as cool.
Ooh, and the best part: my brother and I visited the mini terrain park, and learned how to do rails! ...ok, so it was a tiny rail, but STILL, it was awesome, and I feel sufficiently proud of myself. And I have videos. Also, a cowbell, because the Telus people at the resort were handing them out - cool souvenir, y/y? Mmm, what else? Cover Shot, the only double-black we had time for, was a heck of a lot easier than Gowabunga at Silver Star.
Yeah, and I also finished reading Pride and Prejudice. Frankly, it was a hard book to get into, but at around page 210 when Darcy actually grew a pair, that was quite pleasing. It was a cute book. AND SPEAKING OF BOOKS, OMG, THE FOURTH RANGER'S APPRENTICE BOOK IS OUT ON THE 18! I AM SO THERE!
Alright, if you've read this far, congratulations. Even more meaningless stuff behind the cut.
Ooh, and the best part: my brother and I visited the mini terrain park, and learned how to do rails! ...ok, so it was a tiny rail, but STILL, it was awesome, and I feel sufficiently proud of myself. And I have videos. Also, a cowbell, because the Telus people at the resort were handing them out - cool souvenir, y/y? Mmm, what else? Cover Shot, the only double-black we had time for, was a heck of a lot easier than Gowabunga at Silver Star.
Yeah, and I also finished reading Pride and Prejudice. Frankly, it was a hard book to get into, but at around page 210 when Darcy actually grew a pair, that was quite pleasing. It was a cute book. AND SPEAKING OF BOOKS, OMG, THE FOURTH RANGER'S APPRENTICE BOOK IS OUT ON THE 18! I AM SO THERE!
Alright, if you've read this far, congratulations. Even more meaningless stuff behind the cut.
But, there's always one.
I hate the way she moves, like she might break. I hate how she uses the cane all the time now, how she can't even pull out her own chair. I hate how he always has to be there first, to help her, to support her, because she's always been so independent, and now she's... not. I hate how someone always has to help her getting her coat on, picking up her purse. I hate how these little things are getting harder for her.
Don't get me wrong - I don't mind helping her in the slightest. It's no chore. But I hate that I have to, that she's losing her independence.
I especially hate it when she walks. How she always has to use the cane. I hate how he's always there, always beside her, because suddenly the possibility of falling isn't that far off. I hate how she leans on him so much, like she can't support her own weight anymore. I hate how when he walks beside her, he talks about the weather, the buildings, the day; how he's making small talk to distract from the fact that she can barely walk. Their conversation seems unnatural, forced, and I hate it. I hate waiting for her, watching, always watching to prevent her - to save her - if she should slip and fall. And I especially hate the wheelchair; I hate how accustomed she was to it, how easily she could get used to it, how it could become a part of - of their - life. I hate knowing that things can't stay the same forever, that sometimes, people do grow old. I hate how easy it is for people to overlook her in the stupid thing, how they just talk over her, not listening to what she has to say, and I'm scared that this, instead of being only occasional at present, will become a permanent reality in the future. I hate that he has to do everything for her, how she has to stop cause her legs are about to give out. I hate the passage of time that's done this to her.
Sometimes I wonder if she hates it, too.
I love my grandparents to forever, but the future might not.
I hate the way she moves, like she might break. I hate how she uses the cane all the time now, how she can't even pull out her own chair. I hate how he always has to be there first, to help her, to support her, because she's always been so independent, and now she's... not. I hate how someone always has to help her getting her coat on, picking up her purse. I hate how these little things are getting harder for her.
Don't get me wrong - I don't mind helping her in the slightest. It's no chore. But I hate that I have to, that she's losing her independence.
I especially hate it when she walks. How she always has to use the cane. I hate how he's always there, always beside her, because suddenly the possibility of falling isn't that far off. I hate how she leans on him so much, like she can't support her own weight anymore. I hate how when he walks beside her, he talks about the weather, the buildings, the day; how he's making small talk to distract from the fact that she can barely walk. Their conversation seems unnatural, forced, and I hate it. I hate waiting for her, watching, always watching to prevent her - to save her - if she should slip and fall. And I especially hate the wheelchair; I hate how accustomed she was to it, how easily she could get used to it, how it could become a part of - of their - life. I hate knowing that things can't stay the same forever, that sometimes, people do grow old. I hate how easy it is for people to overlook her in the stupid thing, how they just talk over her, not listening to what she has to say, and I'm scared that this, instead of being only occasional at present, will become a permanent reality in the future. I hate that he has to do everything for her, how she has to stop cause her legs are about to give out. I hate the passage of time that's done this to her.
Sometimes I wonder if she hates it, too.
I love my grandparents to forever, but the future might not.