(no subject)

i'm still puzzled by how some people are born without depression? like, it feels so fundamental to me now that i can't imagine life without feeling this way and hating myself on some rock-solid level

are there people whose last thought before sleeping is not "i hope i don't wake up"? is it possible to wake up in the morning thinking something other than "i hate myself"?

i don't think i'll ever be a good person. not even "good enough".