bitchy_merlin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bitchy_merlin) wrote2013-04-13 09:35 pm
bitchy_merlin) wrote2013-04-13 09:35 pm
(no subject)
I just reread some of my old LJ entries from when i was on exchange, and it literally breaks my heart to see how purely happy I was. To think that one year ago today I was surrounded by friends from all over the world...
I don't remember what happiness feels like right now. All the bitterness, all the self-loathing,the vicissitudes and the anger that Groningen erased... it's all back with a vengeance, and it feels like I've lost the best of me somewhere in that maelstrom.
I started the antidepressants because the psychiatrist said they might help me remember what happiness felt like. I'm just fat and lethargic and numb.
I don't remember what happiness feels like right now. All the bitterness, all the self-loathing,the vicissitudes and the anger that Groningen erased... it's all back with a vengeance, and it feels like I've lost the best of me somewhere in that maelstrom.
I started the antidepressants because the psychiatrist said they might help me remember what happiness felt like. I'm just fat and lethargic and numb.