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Basically, things to note:
1. SUCCESSFULLY DEFENDED MY THESIS, FUCK YEAH, UNDERGRAD, YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK (except for the essay due monday... which I should start) and my last two exams
2. What a year in res! I have to write to Hanna about everything (she's about two months overdue for a letter, but lately , communicating with people is so hard for me. Even facebook messages. I can't do it.)
3. I'm on meds now - antidepressants, whatup. I don't know if they're working. I know I've gained weight. But I'm too stressed to stress about it? IDK. And I'm in group treatment for an ED. Which. Ok.
4. I seriously considered overdosing on Tylenol this past Monday. Spent a long while just sitting at my desk. Staring at my pills. :/ But I didn't cut or binge after my thesis defense, which I am proud of.
...and even I
don't understand the depth of #feelings - like an electric shock, i swear - that bolted through me when I got a post card from Simo in the mail. I haven't read it. I'm terrified of feeling things.